Has it officially been 300 days since I started my life change? Ehhhh… To be honest I am not quite sure. I have lost track and according to MyFitnessPal I have been logging my food for 313 days. I’m glad that I have lost track of how long it has been because that means my life style change is exactly that, a change. Once you make a change and implement it into your daily life it becomes normalized. It is no longer a struggle to make that change a part of you life, but rather just a daily task that you perform. Like… brushing your teeth everyday (hopefully).
I haven’t posted anything about my lifestyle change in awhile because there hasn’t been much to talk about. Yes, I have small wins every month, but for the most part everything has been very routine. In June and July I was doing a lot of traveling and moving to a new apartment,but I was still able to maintain my weight despite the chaos that was happening. It has been so hot outside that I stopped running for the summer and switched to focusing more on weight lifting. It has been a fun change. Shortly, I will be changing back to running more. I do want to find a happy balance between the two.
I signed up for a 9K in November. I’m excited to race again, but I also need to get serious about running. That won’t be a problem for me mentally, but I think I will definitely put my body into a shock for a little bit.
That’s my update, but now I want to get down to the whole reason why I decided to write this post. Every month I still do a monthly weigh-in. Part of it is routine and another part of why I still do weigh-ins is because I don’t 100% trust myself yet. I have been doing this life style change for almost a year now, but I still get anxious about falling down a slippery slope.
The last few months I have started to realize that I need to be nicer to myself. My body works really hard to maintain and keep me healthy. I need to start saying kind things to it. This led me to look up more body positivity posts on Instagram and Google.
Then…I had an encounter with a trainer at my gym. He was the one that weighed me and just a disclaimer: he is Taiwanese and his English is not that great. BUT STILL…
He looked at my sheet and said everything was normal, “but your stomach..too fat”. I tried to laugh it off and be like “haha yeah I always have problems with my stomach”, but in my head I was cursing like a storm. My friend, Beth, pointed out to me that we are already our worst critics, so we don’t need someone else to point out to us what part of our body isn’t the best. I couldn’t agree more. I didn’t need this trainer to point out what was fat on my body and needs more work. I already know!! I’m the one that gets to decide if I am going to do a million core exercises and stop eating so much fat, or if I am just going to say it is okay and move on with my life.
I have obviously moved on with my life and this dude’s comment isn’t tearing me up on the inside everyday, but I still wanted to talk about it. Talk about how that isn’t okay. I want to recognize that I should have stood up for myself and I didn’t. For anyone that is reading this I hope you learn from my mistakes. Don’t let someone body shame you. Don’t let someone give you “advice” that you didn’t ask for or need. You are f’ing b-e-a-utiful in your own way. Just because one douche trainer at the gym can’t see that doesn’t mean that others can’t.
As for me, I am going to continue to work on being body positive and re-learn how to love my body, a little belly fat and all.